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Foamy The Squirrel : |
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About
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Foamy the Squirrel is
the all-knowing, hyper-logical, ranting squirrel known throughout
the lands for his Squirrelly Wrath & infamous cult. Well,
he's working on a cult. He lives with Germaine, his goth chick
owner, as her unassuming pet... when in reality, he's plotting
to enlighten the world through infallible logic and enforce
that logic with an army of robots created from discarded automatons
and the brains of his former dead owners. Crazy, no? His anger
knows no bounds! He is your Lord & Master : FOAMY!!! |
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Germaine : |
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About
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Germaine is a struggling
poet who has moved from New York City to Connecticut due
to lack of money. She's constantly at odds with the world
and the roles it places upon her. Angry, depressed and all
around moody, she's an outsider among outsiders. Always
seeking to be seen as more than a sexual object, she's in
a constant conflict with a society that deems her to be
nothing more than a pair of boobs and a jiggly butt. Now
residing and watching over her grandfather's house, she's
side-stepped the financial troubles of "the big city"
and has fallen into the trap of being a stranger & an
outcast in a bizarre little town.
UPDATED:
She recently quit her job at Walk-Mart and took the position
of model for an art school in NYC where she feels her body
can be appreciated on an artistic level, rather than a sexual
one. |
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Pilz-E The Squirrel : |
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About
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Pilz-E was discovered
in one of Germaine's pill bottles after having a prescription
filled at a shady N.Y. pharmacy. Always seeing things, never
all quite there, Pilz-E babbles like a retarded child on crack
with a side of insanity. What most people find normal in the
world, he sees as strange or scary. Known medical conditions
include : Eye-Stigmata; A-Gore-Aphobia; Slurred Speech; Random
Hallucinations; and frankly, like warnings on a prescription
drug... side-effects are too numerous to list here. (78 page
downloadable .PDF in the works listing all known issues and
side-effects for this character) |
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Begley The Squirrel : |
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About
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Begley was in hiding
for awhile back in merry 'ol England after trying to assault
The Queen with a hat stolen from the royal guard. He took
refuge in the loft of a failing pizza deliver man, hiding
in the walls and eating left-over crusts for over a year.
When the pizza guy decided to move to America based solely
on the images of a girl he saw on the internet, Begley was
accidentally trapped in his suitcase and was whisked away
to N.Y.C. where he met up with Foamy & Germaine. |
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The Hatta' : |
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About
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The Hatta' is a stereotype
of sorts. An antiquated racist who believes all white people
are out to get him. He takes no crap from anyone and is first
to point out that his bad luck in life is due to a "white
conspiracy" rather than his own actions. In his spare
time he writes letters to congress in order to legalize marijuana
and spends an inordinate amount of time following the career
of Samuel L. Jackson. Reluctant to move away from the urban
setting of NYC, The Hatta' resides in Germaine's old apartment
with his own "owner"... a special situation that
arose from unique circumstances.. |
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Anchovie : The Pizza Dude : |
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About
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Anchovie was a failing
pizza delivery man in England. He never could get the orders
to the right homes and "30 minutes or less" turned
into "two hours or more". He eventually ran out
of pizza places that would hire him. While in a state of deep,
work-related depression, he came upon Germaine's profile on
FaceNook. He soon became obsessed with her and decided, with
no more work to be found in England, to move to the states
and admire Germaine from afar. His infatuation has reached
rather disturbing levels though, and with Germaine no longer
living in N.Y.C, he has become quite unstable. His name? Well,
he kinda got that since the odor of anchovies follows him
like the plague. |
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Franklin : The Coffee-House Clerk : |
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About
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An almost-out-of-the-closet
coffee-house clerk, Franklin's life, is his work. He takes
great pride in being part of "Team Star-Schmucks"
and revels in the daily routine of the high art of coffee-slinging.
No mere barista, Franklin has several degrees in coffee preparation,
from bean-grinding to Coffee-Pouring he graduated top of his
class at Star-Schmucks University. Though constantly a target
of Foamy's anger towards corporate coffee-houses, he takes
it all in stride, in hopes of one day finding his soul-mate
and opening a gay themed coffee-house of his own. |
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Roswell : |
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About
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Rescued from a shelter
by Jack Partfine, Roswell is neither thankful nor happy to
have to deal with Partfine's crazy Bigfoot, UFO, Ghost-Hunting
crap. He's a skeptic when it comes to everything... everything
except... Foamy! Noticing a reoccurring squirrel throughout
Partfine's collection of old documentary footage, Roswell
is convinced that Foamy the Squirrel is hell-bent on ruling
the world and destroying his owners in order to use their
brains for an army of logic-enforcing robots. Proof you say?
He's workin' on it. |
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Jack Partfine : |
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About
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Much like Germaine, Jack
Partfine could no longer afford the high-cost of city living.
Also the prospects of finding bigfoot in Manhattan were pretty
slim. Completely engulfed in the studies of cryptozoology,
Ufology, and the Paranormal, Partfine writes books and articles
to support his Ghost Hunting habits. In addition to his high-tech
equipment he adopted a dog in the hopes that their superior
senses would be able to aid him in his hunt for the unknown.
Unfortunately, Roswell was not the best choice for a "hunting
breed". Oh well, the truth is still out there... |
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Mammed Udi : |
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About
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The hardest working out-sourced
Indian on the planet, Mammed Udi runs 8 different tech-support
hotlines, a suicide hotline, a game-cheat hint hotline, and
a numerous variety of other phone-based help services. Somewhat
sarcastic to his American customers, he has a knack for wasting
people's time while giving them no assistance. Also rather
bitter due to a complex relationship. More on that as it develops. |
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Dia : |
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About:
Dia is a spiritually
centered individual who up and left India after not wanting
to go through with an arranged marriage to Mammed Udi. Going
against her traditions, she moved to New York and is searching
for a greater purpose than merely that of a house-wife.
Her parents are ticked off at her and she fears she may
be hallucinating. The Tofu is talking to her...
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Tofu : |
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About
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Dia discovered Tofu
in an expired package of the product. Though not completely
sure if he's a figment of her imagination, or a cosmic joke
set upon someone who had bad karma... Tofu follows Dia around
curious about the world and it's surroundings.
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'Lil Bot : |
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About
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A seemingly inert series
of companion desk robots gifted to various cubical workers
around the globe by the ominous "Squirrelly Goodness"
Toy company. May cause cancer in California. |
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More Character Info Soon : |
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4y-Guy : |
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About
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A quick witted clerk
who works at an indie record shop in NYC known as 4y-Records.
Though the shop is bordering on financial collapse, their
stock of rare & obscure records, trinkets, music memorabilia,
video games, movies and other antiquated forms of media have
drawn in a loyal & fanatical crowd of hardcore music lovers
from around the world. Though his presence is unbearable for
the customers at times, people will put up with his personality
in order to access the treasures within the store. He is the
ever watchful guardian to a vault of musical collectables.
The store itself is a kind of hangout for music lovers and
a refuge from the digital age that has made analog such an
antiquated, yet treasured format. |
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Fez : |
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About
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One of the stores most
loyal customers, and most abused. He returns weekly to search
for rare Bollywood soundtracks and underground punk. Though
he claims to always be on the lookout for something different,
he rarely deviates from his tastes... which incurs the wrath
of the faithful employees. |
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Sue Z. : |
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About
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No one knows if Sue actually
works at 4y-Records. She shows up at 9 a.m., leaves at midnight,
stocks shelves, and reorganizes areas of the shop. She's never
collected a paycheck, never says anything more than a dismissive
grumble and occasionally acts as bouncer to unruly customers.
Riddled with suicidal tendencies (not the band) she's an unstable
powder keg of despair. Her favorite genres are Goth &
Punk and has a penchant for slapping Emos. (Frankly, Sue Z
may not even be her real name) Who is she?! |
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More Character Info Soon : |
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Velossa : |
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About
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Summoned by a mysterious
warlock, Velossa arrived to a horrific scene of ash &
bone. Upon surveying the carnage, she had found no sign of
her master. She is short tempered and now on a quest. A quest
to find the one who called her from the dark, twisted nether.
She is not yet familiar with the ways of our world and her
first instinct is destroy what's in her way, rather than reason
with it. With the help of a dim-witted blob of ooze, she continues
to roam the lands searching for her master, assisting a few
along the way in exchange for aid or information that may
help bring her quest to an end. |
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Ooze : |
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About
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Ooze is a species of
ageless blobs of gelatinous goo. Though as dumb as soup, he
can sometimes see into the future. These random visions are
often meaningless and tend to vex those around him. He found
Velossa sitting in a forest and took it upon himself to help
find her lost master. He's not sure of what he's doing, has
no idea where he's going, but Velossa recognizes he is more
familiar with the world and it's ways than she is, and therefor
deals with his nonsense... at least for the time being. |
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More Character Info Soon : |
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Jim : |
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About
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A classic curmudgeon
who dislikes everything. Be it the smell of summer, the frost
of winter, the type of cup coffee is served in, nothing is
liked by this man. Ice... is too damn cold. The sun is too
bright. That baby is too small, and your cute little puppy
drools too much. No matter the topic, he has a wise-ass remark
about it. A pessimist to the core, he feels the need to show
people the positive aspect of negative thinking. |
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Cat : |
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About
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Jim's pet... merely named
"cat"... because that's all it responds to. Constantly
under foot and needing some sort of treat, he's become very
protective of his fez that is made from 99% cat-nip. His actions
are constantly aggravating Jim, but he means well... he's
just a cat. But don't touch his fez or he'll rip your face
off. |
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